


Starved For You

by FairyLights101



Series: Eruren Week 2015 [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkwardness, Canon Universe, Cuddles, Eruere Week, Eruren Week, Fluff, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Touch-Starved, eruren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 09:58:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3846631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyLights101/pseuds/FairyLights101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was hard, nearly impossible really, to find extended periods of time where they could be intimate with each other. That was a fact that irritated Eren on a good day and royally pissed him off on some of the worse ones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starved For You

It was hard, nearly impossible really, to find extended periods of time where they could be intimate with each other. That was a fact that irritated Eren on a good day and royally pissed him off on some of the worse ones.

Those were the days where it didn't matter that he was merely a soldier - one with questionable status as a human on top of that - and that Erwin was not only completely human without the shadow of a doubt, but Commander to the Scouting Legion - a fact that made the Legion come first and any personal matters come second.

And, for a teenager like Eren, it was difficult to handle at times. He was touch starved for the most part.

People refrained from touching him, wary of the possibility that he could explode in a wash of steam and transform into a man-eating beast at any given moment, even if that was not only extraordinarily unlikely but highly improbable without self-inflicting some kind of wound with a  _purpose_. Even his fellow trainees found reasons to shy away from his touch. Levi was one of the few exceptions, though he didn't touch many people, unwilling if he had to. Mikasa, Armin, and Erwin were the only ones willing to be touch and be touched when it came to him.  _It's because I'm a monster_.

But that was a fact that was all too easy to forget when Erwin held him close as he did now, his long, muscular arms looped around Eren's body. Their bare chests were pressed tight together, rising and falling together rhythmically in a motion that nearly lulled Eren to sleep every few minutes.

He persisted in keeping his eyes open by focusing on tracing idle patterns into the creamy flesh of the chest beneath him in the space over Erwin's heart. The organ he had not only offered up to humanity and the Legion, but also to Eren. The Titan-Shifter smiled and nuzzled the soft skin of Erwin's chest, breathing in the sweet scent of his soap.

Gentle fingers swept the hair back from his forehead. "Sometimes I just can't tell what you smile about. This is one of those times."

The brunette shifted enough so that he could see those inquisitive blue orbs and the tiny smile that tugged on Erwin's lips. "Nothing much… Just thinking about things."

"Care to share?"

"Not really… maybe… oh hell, I'll let you know eventually."

Erwin's chest shook with silent laughter, the kind that made Eren's chest ache as he desperately wished that Erwin would let it be audible. There was no one around to hear the deep, melodious rumbles of laughter. No one to nitpick and analyze and call him weak for showing that yes, Erwin Smith, thirteenth Commander of the Scouting Legion was human too, that he was more than a cold, emotionless bastard who led hundreds to their death during their expeditions.

_Those bastards inside the walls don't understand… He does so much for humanity. Fuck, it's amazing he isn't going gray._

Eren squirmed on Erwin's chest, inching his body up until he hovered over Erwin. Tired blue eyes swept over his face, somehow finding the energy to examine him. "Erwin…" His mouth was dry, too much to be natural. Every instinct begged him to glance away, to collect himself and keep his mouth shut, but he rarely, if ever, listened to his instincts. No, he relied on word vomit instead.

"Erwin… I love you so fucking much."

The hand tangled in his wild hair stilled, as did the one that had been tracing across the back of his hand.  _Oh, shit_. He had said something wrong, no doubt about it. Such words… Words like that were taboo in the Legion. Eren hadn't heard them uttered since he had joined, not once. No one whispered them. Doing such was like signing one's life away, almost as bad as entering a relationship in the first place.

But Eren was easier with saying those words. He had suffered so many wounds and injuries, most of which he should have died from. Hell, he had taken a bullet straight to the chest from point-blank range and had managed to sit up in time for dinner. Saying such things was easier when he had next to no fear of death. "I… sorry…"

Strong but gentle fingers caught his chin and turned his head until their eyes locked, blues and greens clashing. Erwin tipped his head to the side, thick brows scrunching up in confusion. "Why are you sorry?"

Eren wanted so desperately to twist his head away and bury his face into Erwin's chest but he managed not to. He shifted his focus to Erwin's nose instead, staring hard at the cartilage. "That was… probably a dumb thing to say."

His gaze snapped back up as the chest beneath him shook. This time was different. Laughter, actual audible laughter rumbled through the air, low and utterly bemused. "Eren… Eren, that's anything but dumb. I was just surprised. And you know what?" The fingers that held his chin in place shifted up to cup his cheek, sweeping across the fine ridges of the bones beneath.

"I love you too."

Those taboo words send shivers racing up Eren's spine and blood blistering through his cheeks. "I…" No words could form. Rarely did he ever find himself at a loss for words - thank word vomit for that - but Erwin could always manage to render him speechless. So he resorted to the one thing he knew would convey things so much better than any pathetic words he chose.

Eren dipped down and kissed Erwin, soft lips meeting and melding together with languid rolls and flicks of their tongues. It was nothing special, not really, but it still warmed Eren all the way down to his toes.  _He really is amazing… Fuck, I got lucky with him._

Hell, his entire existence was based on luck. Losing limbs only to have them regrow. Developing "powers" to help eradicate the bane of humanity and help free it from the cage it was trapped within. Being allowed to grow so close with the Commander of all people, a man who by all rights should have never given him a second glance in the way he had, Titan-Shifter or not.

 _They say I'm not human. They say Erwin isn't human. I think they're wrong. We're the most human of all. The most mortal. We live and die by the swords we wield, the world we pledged to protect. We sacrifice our humanity for the sake of them. Surely that gives us something that can never be taken_.

He couldn't keep the path of his thoughts up for long, not when Erwin opened his lips with delicate nips or tugged on his hair gently, urging him onward. They might not be allowed much time for intimacy, but they never failed to make the most of it, even if it all boiled down to sweet kisses that never developed into anything more. That was all they required more often than not, that and someone to touch their starving bodies in any way.  _We're worlds apart and yet so unbelievably similar… And he never ceases to amaze me_.


End file.
